ABOUT

I usually prefer to leave the talkin to the tracks,  but I get that people are often curious as to what and who you're about, My story is way too long, so here's a brief yadda yadda! of how it all began musically up to present day?  Watford born and bred I was raised on a tough council estate and started Songwriting at the age of  five, at eight seriously (or so I thought?🤣)  about six years later I experienced the birth of Rap/Hip-Hop & Boom! just like that I fell in love,  although new, It felt warm and familiar like a missing limb had been given back. I went on to feel exactly the same about  Black American Gospel.

However, neither genre were  met favourably here in the UK at that time amongst a predominantly white school and area and my attempts to share the love and excitement were often met with racist comments, it was a real shock to the system because there was a mixture of anger and sadness, I'd never thought of anything in terms of colour, but it became evident  there was no way a UK society would  be accepting of a young white girl rapping and so I went back to being a singer/songwriter in public and did my first performance at 13 in Cassiobury park where they had a talent contest, I sang two original numbers and won.  I still practiced the rap/hiphop stuff in the safety and privacy of home . The highlight of my life was the School youth club held twice a week, as there was a record player, I was about the only kid on the block with a job working weekends in a Newsagents, so I spent some of the money on Vinyl and the Youth Club gave me a chance to give it a spin.  

There were two black brothers who used to hang out and stand in the corner listening to the music & when they thought nobody was looking they would throw a few quick Body Popping & Break-dance moves, it was the first time I'd ever been in a room with anyone that might feel the same way as me about the genre, we cut a deal, they could play DJ and take over spinning my Vinyl for awhile and in return they would  try and teach me some moves, it felt great to finally share this mutual love. At 17 I was runner up in the Smash hits magazine songwriting competition.

By the time Rap/Hip-Hop started to emerge in the UK mainstream , while thrilled at the possibilities it was a bit of an anti-climax to say the least, it wasn't even close to the calibre of the US sound I'd spent years listening to and honing my craft from. I did attempt  rapping with a purely English accent but by then it felt so uncomfortable and fake. At the end of the day it's about being true to yourself & so I carry on today as I started out, hence the vocal Stateside twang. 

I'd just started getting interest from major labels as a singer-songwriter when I got the debilitating complex chronic illness known as M.E and was told by medical consultants  that the dream was over and making music and gigging would no longer be possible as it would worsen my condition, I lost my day job, my social life and  life as i'd known it in general, not content with that, I  then went on to get diagnosed with ADHD, Fibromyalgia and Osteoporosis , greedy or what?  

I was bed-bound with M.E for two years but during that time I just knew i'd regret not following my love of hiphop and so I  recorded a mega rough demo  album on an old 4-track placed on my lap, there were no effects and it was incredibly  poor quality as you can imagine hence the "Raw" title, but it was received well nonetheless, I fought hard to  eventually get back up on my feet again but after two years of being indoors bedbound  i'd developed agoraphobia & having lost all trust in the NHS after years of abuse and mistreatment, it took me another two years to get myself back outside. 

It was then I went  on to record a studio album "Nobody Want's To Know Ya When Ya Nobody"  with Producer Shane Shannahan, that took 5 years to make after selling my entire hiphop record collection to help fund it , then an E.P "Runnin On Empty" & a number of singles  which took another 4 yrs.  During that time I had to have major abdominal surgery which has unfortunately left me with permanent weakness and problems on my left side . 

I was just about to release the E.P "Runnin On Empty" in 2015 when my brother sadly took his own life, it was a massive shock and then two months later my sister was diagnosed with a rare sarcoma and passed away 10 short weeks later ( You can read the full story: "Give Us This Day")

Dealing with the loss of my siblings has been tougher than anything I've ever faced , but whether through loss of loved ones or/and illness that takes away your normality  it's a forever thing that you just have to try and live with, it comes down to choice, Sink or Swim?  I either find ways to cope  and carve out the best life I can with the  cards I've been dealt or I give up? But quitting isn't in my bones and so however long I'm blessed to be here hopefully  I can still leave a positive mark, do my parents proud, continue to carry my siblings torch, help others and maybe inspire a few? 

Everyone's idea of success is different, for me it's not about fame or being popular, It's about sharing honesty, it might not always be popular when it comes to radio play but  I don't pay lip service. When I hit the other-side the main mans not going to be impressed by a chart position .  I'm by no means the best at what I do , but my love, stories and delivery is honest and I just hope people can appreciate that if nothing else? I try to use any platforms given to talk about M.E, Disability, social issues, Mental health etc and in turn try & give others a voice and platform. Although i still struggle badly with M.E  I've been blessed to be played on mainstream radio, do some interviews and be followed on social media &  receive lovely feedback by some of my idols and people I respect, THAT is worth far more than any blue tick ?  

 I started teaching myself music production and then last year was surprisingly   accepted onto the We Are The Unheard Academy which I feel so blessed about and it has certainly given me more confidence and I have  now produced two of my own tracks :) .

No matter how tough life gets, we still have a choice, there is always point and purpose so don't let anyone tell you that you're not capable of achieving  something, each and everyone of us is gifted with being able to make a difference?  

As some of you that follow will know, I  fell out with  the music distributors Tunecore (read here)  some years ago, they did eventually  apologize & admit the error on their part, but seeing as all my stuff was taken down from all major platforms , and considering the state of the industry, all distributers and platforms such as Spotify, who are shafting musicians and funding things that don't align with my morals or values I've decided I'm happy to leave things as they are , integrity is everything, so I can now only be found on the awesome site  BandCamp.

                                 
                                                            Forever A Life Student

                                                                   Stay Blessed  X

                                                                     

Just a Few Of  Many Random Facts.........🤣

1. I've lived a Yogic life for most of my life. For me It's about trying to be a decent human being really, I'm vegetarian, try not to harm any living thing physically or verbally, try to help, support and raise others up. I'm no saint 🤣 it's about being aware, living consciously & trying to do your best and like most I'm a work in progress and refer to myself as a life student. Although I'm a qualified Yoga teacher, and stay insured, due to health issues I don't teach classes, but I do still help and advice on a physical and spiritual level and also do the odd one to one.

2. Boxing was illegal for women  when I was growing up so no trainers would take me on , but I really wanted to be a boxer. When I was about 18, through a conversation in a pub  one day I got the opportunity to take part in an underground illegal match where I met my European opponent who looked like a 30 stone skinhead, one of her arms seemed longer and bigger than all of me. While I had always been a tough kid , I didn't want to die, hence climbing out the toilet window and scarpering. 

3. At 17 I  was going to be a nun & had written my letter to the local convent and was about to post it, when my sister, hardly able to stop laughing, took me for a walk and explained I would have to spend alot of time in silence, as someone with ADHD I realized that  would be impossible, plus I wouldn't be able to just eat a bag of revels whenever I fancied so another dream shattered . 🤣

4. There was  a competition on Channel 4's Richard & Judy  show  to theoretically write a song for Victoria Beckham, I only knew I'd made the first selection while i was sat in my Pj's noshing ravioli watching the programme and they suddenly mentioned my name and played my track, I nearly choked 🤣 over the weeks a  panel of record industry peeps whittled the 5000 entries down to the final  three and then the public voted me the winner. 😁

5. I once had a music producer who was friends with music composer John Cameron who was working on the film Jack the Ripper starring Michael Caine and who wanted some extra singing voices to boost the sound of the pub scenes, so we went to his house and sang some cockney songs and I got paid £300, I was buzzing, such a random opportunity, but what an opportunity. 🤣

6. I got to meet the late great Jim Henson, the female usher showing us around said she would go find him as absolutely nobody other than his crew & staff were allowed inside his studio, he was really strict on that. Jim came out of his studio, a gentle giant of a man, we chatted a little and then he asked if i'd like to see his studio. Once inside he said "We can call this work experience if you like, but everything i'm about to share with you stays here in the studio" I promised, and he went on to show me all the puppets and how things were done. When i came out later and found the usher again, she was really offish and said *He has never done that before so i don't know what you have that nobody else hasn't" 😲 There was an awkward silence after that, but I've always felt immensely blessed by the experience. On that same day I also got to meet my idol Debbie Harry & Chris Stein and later actresses Stephanie Beacham & Nyree dawn Porter invited me to sit with them and have a cuppa and chat :)

7. I haaaaaate Lindt chocolate, and Olives, the nightmare would be Lindt chocolate covered Olives 🤣